Blog #15 樂出真我 Who are you really???
Blog #15 樂出真我
你是誰? 這個好像是一個十分無聊的問題, 一個好像是common sense的問題.…但是你真的知道你是誰?? 你有多了解你自己?? 知不知道你的一舉一動的源頭?? 知不知道有哪一些的人你會想逃避或些黐着不放?? 有什麼東西是你的推動力, 什麼工作或活動能帶給你人生意義??
可能我們需要去從另外一個角度問問這條問題. 你是否能夠活出自我?還是你是活在別人的期望中? 現在的你真的是你自己嗎? 還是現在的你是一個從別人期望產生出來的你?
有一些朋友可能是分析型的,可能這類人能夠不斷同自己照鏡,監測自己的一舉一動而去輕易的回答這些問題. 但我相信大部份人經常以「自動波」的形式在日常生活裏行着,活着, 交涉着,反應着由家人,朋友,老師或社會甚至文化對我們的期望.
Jung 經常用「埋藏的寶藏」(Hidden Treasure) 去形容一個人的「真我」(True Self),他相信每一個人有內在的獨特之處,一些個人特質. 在現實生活裏面,這些「寶藏」容易被人偷取或是被人貶值.我們不將這些寶藏拿出來運用的原因可能處決於他人的睇法,又或是這些寶藏和一般社會/或身邊的朋友能夠接受的不一樣. 漸漸地我們就將這些寶藏越埋越深, 最後甚至不知道從那裏找回這些一開始屬於我們的東西. 就是這些情況,我們漸漸地覺得疑惑,迷失甚至覺得失去了人生方向.
我們是否真的知道我們究竟是誰??? 真的知道那些真真正正屬於我們的想法, 感受和意願??
記得有一位音樂治療師說有一個很精警的話 “音樂係呃唔到人嘅", 你選擇用什麼樂器,怎樣去玩一個樂器完完全全地能夠去反映一個人的狀態和真我. 除了樂器之外,我們喜歡或者不喜歡的音樂也能夠如此反映我們自己.
純音樂vs有人唱的歌: 什麼樣的人聲?男/女/兒童/經過特別效果處理的人聲? 電子音樂vs 傳統樂器 vs 民族樂器: 什麼類型的樂器?弦樂/銅管/管樂/敲擊? 樂器的特質: 深沉?高音?一些包圍着的聲音? 聲音如何發出:長音?短音?清晰?朦朧? 泛音?裝飾的音? 方向性: 浮動?沒有方向?有清晰方向?
嘗試將所有 「好有感覺」的音樂元素全都寫下來, 你就會慢慢看到一些和現實生活相似的模式(pattern) 出現了.可能是一些反影您的生活習慣,喜好,態度,思考方式,人際關係模式以及世界觀.
舉一些例子: 一位client 說 ”好頂唔順呢個track…開頭好似好多嘢發生緊,但係個主旋律去到好遲先出現, 好似好多期待但係點解等極都未出現? 我想個主旋律一開始就出現!!”
這個client 其實已經利用音樂說明了她對事的想法, 反映了她在現實生活中的情況: 喜歡那種一剎那的滿足感(instant gratification). 另一位client 說 “我好唔鍾意呢個music….好似所有樂器係空中飄浮咁…唔知個音樂去緊邊…” 在討論中,發現他自己很喜歡做事有方向, 要知道從那裏出發, 目標在哪裏而向那個方向進發.
又有另一位client 說 “好鍾意有好多唔同嘅民族樂器, 預測唔到這首音樂下一秒鐘會發生什麼事,會有咩野聲, 唔係好似流行曲咁樣來來去去都係果幾樣樂器, 剩係得intro,verse,chorus”. 這個comment 正正反映了這個client 的性格和喜好模式: 喜歡多元化的嘗試,有刺激性的活動, 不喜歡那種朝九晚五,日日如是的工作.
那麼真正認識自己,知道自己的運行模式那又怎麼樣呢? 我想當人找到了自己的寶藏,你才能知道怎樣去用這些東西, 在那裏用, 和誰一起用. 而不是被人胡亂地放一些不屬於我們的東西在我們身上, 期望我們做一些達到他們目標的事情. 找回真我令我們嘗試去更有意識地去掌握我們的決定, 決定我們怎樣去回應人或事; 將我們的精力集中在一些對我們心靈有迴響的事; 而知道我們的人生方向.
要真的做回自己,要先從找回真我開始. 音樂或藝術是一個找回真我的媒介. Blog#15 Who are you really?
Who are you? Do you know who you really are? How aware are you towards yourself? Do you know why you are acting the way you are, or feeling the way you feel? Do you know why you have a strong need to avoid or stick like a magnet with a certain type of people? Do we know what motivates us, energize us or the things that brings us fulfillment?
Perhaps let’s look at this question from another angle. Are you living out who you truly are or are you living out of somebody’s else expectation?
Perhaps those who are the analytical type would be answering all those questions and constantly examining themselves 24/7 non-stop, but I guess the majority of people are often running on autopilot in everyday scenarios, acting, doing, relating, reacting according to what other people/our family/our friends/our teachers and what society and the culture we’re part of telling us to do.
Jung often symbolize the true self as a ‘hidden treasure’, there’s something inside each of us that is unique and precious, something that defines us as who we are. Yet it is a reality that these treasure can be stolen or devalued by others. Perhaps the reason why we are not taking these treasures out and fully utiltizing them is because of the fact that we are afraid of what others would see and think about them, that these treasure might be so different from ‘normality’. So we keep hiding our treasures in a secret place that as time goes by, we might not know where to find it anymore. At times like these, we are left confused, disorientated and lost.
Do we really really REALLY know who we are and what we want and what to become?
I remember a music therapist once said “Music don’t lie”, what and how you play on a musical instrument reflect one’s true self. The same goes as what type of music one is drawn towards and what type of music one can ‘tolerate’, dislike or in love with. The music that you love and hate tells something very specific about you, reflecting your true self.
Our brain is a powerful machine, for most of people, we would probably only need 5 seconds or less to know exactly if we love or hate a specific track.
If we start putting a ‘microscope’ onto the music that provoke strong emotions in us and examine all the musical elements in details, we can begin to trace those traits leading to our own ‘hidden treasure’.
Perhaps we can begin our 'treasure hunting' by examining these musical elements to start with:
Instrumental vs Vocal: what kind of vocal? Male or Female or child?
Electronic vs Acoustic:
What kind of instruments? Strings? Brass? Percussions?
What about the nature of the instrument? Low rumbling sound or high twinkling sound or something that cuts through all layers?
Then consider the production of the sound/melody/harmony: Sharp? Dull? Sustaining? Short? Clear? Full of decoration? Bended note?
What about the direction? Floaty? Not going anywhere? Directional?
What about the composition of the track? Single or multiple layers? The timing of the melody/harmony start kicking in.
Start jotting down your finding and you will begin to see some patterns emerging that correspond to your way of living, your attitude in life, your mindset, your relationship pattern, your pattern of preference, your worldview.
For example, a client commented on a track of music “This track really irritates me as there’s so many layers going on but no melody until the middle of the track, it’s like there are so much build-up and anticipation but where’s that thing I’m expecting?? I want to hear the melody from the very beginning!” This client has already pointed out the essence of her feeling from this particular track. Her comment reflects her current situation and her mindset-she enjoys instant gratification.
Take another client for example, she commented on a track “I really don’t like this track, it’s like all those instruments are lingering in the air but they are not going anywhere!” During our discussion afterwards, we found out that she’s someone who wants a sense of direction, know the goal and destination and head towards it.
Or another client says “Love the way how there are a variety of world instruments in this track, the structure of the music are very unpredictable unlike those in pop music, a new sound comes up every now and then, you never know what comes up next!”
So what’s the point of knowing and being aware of oneself? I guess if one have found their hidden treasure, you will know how to use it, where to use it, and whom should you use it with. We no longer have to receive something that people dump on us that don’t belong to us, expecting us to do something in their agendas. We can then take full control of our lives, choosing to react or not to react to specific people and situations; we can narrow down the things that we pursue; fully utitlize our energy to things that really matter to our heart.
To be our true self, it begins by finding one's true self. Music and art are the medium for 'treasure hunting'.